Years ago, the father was the CEO of the family.

He made the money. He administered the spankings. He mowed the lawn. He was the boss.

Today, dad is the can-do guy. Sure, he brings home a paycheck and sends the kids to timeout. But he also cooks the dinner, changes the diapers, helps with the homework and supervises bath time.

He's more likely than his own father to seek parenting advice from books, magazines, even co-workers. Chances are, he was present for the birth of his children.

And with this hands-on parenting role comes stress, a different kind of stress than the chief executive officer experiences in the boardroom.

Take the day Willie Mixon stepped out of the shower to discover 2-year-old Gregory expressing his artistic side -- on a wall, with nail polish.

But Mixon doesn't complain. Fatherhood is worth the stress.

"My philosophy is to enjoy each stage," he said.

Mixon, 31, and his wife, Lisa, live in Merced with their four children, ranging in age from Gregory to 12-year-old Branden. Mixon works 40 miles away in Modesto, handling patient complaints for the Stanislaus County Health Services Agency. His wife works odd hours, sometimes until 11 p.m. or midnight, as a checker at Raley's Supermarkets & Drug Centers.

Mixon starts his day at 6 a.m., when he rises and wakes up Sade, 6, and Courtney, 8, who are in year-round school. He lays out their school uniforms, then points them toward the bathroom.

When he's sure they're not going to crawl back into bed, he goes to work and leaves the children to his wife or, if she's working, his mother-in-law.

At about 5:45 p.m. he returns home. He hustles to get dinner on -- spaghetti is a family favorite -- then supervises homework and, finally, baths and bed.

His wife says he never gripes about his hectic schedule. She marvels that he finds time to attend soccer games and teach a fourth-grade Sunday school class at Central Presbyterian Church.

Mixon compared himself to his father, who held down two jobs but still found time to coach Little League.

He picked up some parenting skills from his mom and dad. But he also has taken parenting classes through church and read books on the topic.

He feels comfortable asking co-workers for parenting hints. And he's at ease with his wife's role as the disciplinarian -- and his as cook of the house.

Whether it's repainting a wall or helping with homework, Mixon said the best advice is not to sweat the little things that define fatherhood.

"Just enjoy this time with your kids," he said.

Chris Du Beau of Escalon loves spending time with his children, even on those days that try a parent's patience.

Like the day Du Beau rushed home from his job at Burlington Northern Santa Fe railroad because 4-year-old Chance hit 3- year-old Sarah in the head with a horseshoe. Or the day he found all three children, home with the stomach flu, vomiting on the living room love seat.

"They're a handful sometimes," Du Beau said in between interruptions. He grew silent as Ashley, who's almost 2, cried for Daddy to find her "baby."

"Sometimes," he said, "I feel like I'm 28 going on 40."

Du Beau works as a train conductor. His shifts vary. One day, he could be working days -- the next, nights. It's not easy, especially because he and his wife, Sherri, are committed to raising their children without day care.

Some days, he returns home from the railroad at 6 a.m. and goes right to bed. He wakes up about 9 a.m., when his wife leaves for her job at a coffee house. It's his turn to care for the children.

If he's energetic, he makes waffles for breakfast. If he's sluggish, it's cereal. Then, in the summertime, dad and the kids splash in the backyard pool.

Du Beau often prepares a "dinner-type" lunch for the children. Barbecued chicken is their favorite. That's something Du Beau learned from his mother, who brought a hot lunch to school every day for Du Beau and his two brothers.

Du Beau said he learned a lot about parenting from his mother, a stay-at-home mom who occasionally worked outside the home. His father worked long hours, Du Beau remembers, but spent most of his free time playing with his sons. He also introduced the boys to camping, fishing and hunting.

Du Beau taught himself how to change a diaper, something his father never did. He learned to give timeouts instead of the spankings his father administered.

He and his wife share discipline duties. And he, too, feels comfortable asking male co- workers at the railroad yard for parenting hints.

"You've got to ask," he said. "Everybody's not programmed with that information."

When the stress gets to be too much, Du Beau asks his wife to watch the children while he takes a drive or cleans out the garage -- easy work after spending the day with three children -- all younger than 5.

His advice to dads?

"Don't give up just because you can't go out with the buddies or shoot pool at night," he said. "There will be time for that later."

Balancing the demands of work and fatherhood is something most people politely call a challenge. Tim Kerr calls it a good time.

Kerr, who is the Ceres city manager, has a demanding work schedule, attending meetings several nights a week. His wife Tracey, the CEO of a credit union, often attends early-morning meetings, then puts in a full day at work.

So, dad lays out clothes for their 5-year-old son, Jackson. He reminds Jackson to brush his teeth. He packs the bag for day care.

"I truly enjoy it," said Kerr, 45.

If Kerr is home in the evening, he and Jackson might play catch or read a book. He supervises bath time, then locates Jackson's pajamas. He lies next to Jackson in bed, rubbing his son's back until sleep comes.

Kerr learned parenting skills from his mother. His father, a career military man, wasn't a good model, Kerr said. Kerr's parents divorced when he was in junior high school.

Kerr feels comfortable discussing parenting just about everywhere. He even compares notes with other dads on Rotary Club outings.

"Five or 10 years ago," he said, "I would have been talking about my golf swing."

Kerr said he's thankful that the Ceres City Council members -- his bosses -- understand family is a priority. He's able to stay home with Jackson when the boy is sick or when the day-care provider goes on vacation.

Kerr's advice for fathers?

"One key to balancing is to look at the time spent with your child as an opportunity," he said, "not an obligation."

Reprinted by permission of Modesto Bee.